I have seen the light  

I have seen the light
ladies and gentlemen
I have seen the light
and shivered before
its naked beauty

The light, ladies and gents
the light is here in this paper
where truth curls up
with its inflatable teddy bear
and hides between the lines

In the Personal Ads
of every newspaper across this vast country
Men do not seek Women
Women do not seek men
Hell, Women and men
do not even seek their own kind
as much as our media lampreys
would like to think they are being
politically correct

It's all lies, ladies and gentlefolk
For I have seen the light

"Sensitive, attractive
single white male,
loves long walks, dancing and
quiet nights by the fire
seeks same"

Lies! All lies!

For between the lines
I have read
Between the lines
I have been given
the power to see between the lies!

No, ladies and gentlemen, this
"Sensitive single white male"
is, in the blazing light of truth
an overweight cretin
with cigarette ash in his Cheetos
seeking a Julia Roberts clone
for dining, dancing
and disappointment

And here And here!
In advertisement number 4004
This "Hazel-eyed beauty
seeking Openess and Warmth"
is actually
a gerbil
seeking a man
seeking a man

For I have seen the light

And in the light I see
hidden from sight by
blunt-edged words
is a Transvestite seeking
a stay-at-home-mom

And here,
A couch potato
seeking a peeler

For I have seen the light
of truth in the burning bush
the aching groin between
adjective and noun

SWP
SWP! Ladies and gents!
Single White Princess
seeking generous
elderly gentleman
floating face down in pool

I see the light between the lines

Must have chest hair waxed
The disposable income
of King Midas
and be able to
keep it up
on the cold steel
of an autopsy table

I know the truth is hard to bear
I know the pain of shattered dreams!
The tinkle of a glass house on a marble patio
But illusions are born to elude
For I have seen the light

And what does the light reveal?
Healthy, happy snowboarder, loves to laugh
Loves to laugh! Financially stable, seeks love bunny

But the light, the blazing light reveals
Horny teenager
with step-father's
credit card
seeks
gonorrhea

Say it with me now
I see the light
I see the light
I see the light
I see the light

Victim seeking Victor
I see the light
Nutcase seeking squirrel
I see the light
Emotional bonsai seeking Intellectual redwood
I see the light
Silicone seeking Testosterone
I see the light
Black Beauty seeking Blazing Saddle
I see the light
Jail bait seeking reel, worm and rod
I see the light
Big iron seeking wrinkled skirt
I see the light
Sperm whale seeking beach babe
I see the light

I see the light, ladies and gentlemen
And now that it's sacred flame
has cast its glow upon you
I hope you too will shiver
before its naked beauty

 

© 2006 Gordon McRae