Well, I thought that plot was lacking,
the acting was atrocious,
the theater was stuffy
and your asking causes me much embarrassment
for having seen such a pile of shit on the big screen
and paying 13 bucks for that privilege.

Yes, but was there any, you know…
nudity?

Heh.
I almost forgot.
There was this one blonde
who got totally naked
for this shower scene about half way through.
You could totally tell that she likes
to keep her greens nice and trim.
And tits?
Man, those were some nice titties.

I just noticed something.

What is that?

You went on and on
about how the movie's plot was lacking
and how the acting was worthy of scorn
and yet,
through it all,
you concede that the nudity was spectacular.

Well, I wouldn't say 'spectacular',
maybe just SPROING.

And you don't see any problem
with complaining about the finer points of the movie
and raving about the most trivial, vapid,
tacked-on, digitally enhanced,
plot device
designed to lure
perverts like you
with 13 bucks to spend on titties
into the fucking box office?

The titties were fucking huge
on the big screen, though,
GINORMOUS!

© 2006 Michael Appleby