Not Knowing Quite Why  

I'm feeling mortal lately
Like death is around every corner
Closing in on me in many ways
Without coming to take me
A peer from high school decided to take his life this week
Overcome by drug addiction
He shouted out to his friends
They told him to do it

So he did

I'm not sure quite why

Why didn't he decide to get some help instead of ending it all?
If I had really known him maybe I could answer this question.

People reach out to each other in so many ways
Some threaten and perform
Some threaten and never step up

I guess I've been lucky
I've never hit rock bottom
I've never felt there's nowhere to turn
There's always someone to help if I feel a bit low
I have never been that depressed that I thought
I think I'll just hang myself
Never having to feel anything ever again
Why would you even consider this?
I just don't understand it.

I guess I question giving up something so precious to me
I only have it for a brief fleeting moment
It just isn't that easy for me to do
I've had it for 30 years but don't want to give it up until I have to

Yeah I've had my fill of betrayal, like everyone else
It's taught me to be cautious of whom to let in
I just don't believe in the good of people anymore
I've seen too much bad
People are out for number one, they just don't care

Maybe this was Mark's way of saying
"Screw you all - It's my life and if I want to take it somewhere so no one can
hurt it I will."

And he did!

© 2007 Rosemary Wilson