Making Cents (A Canada Post Heritage Moment)   

"O Canada our home and naïve land
Show patriot love - buy what the add commands!
From Canada Post we see fees rise, the true north G.S.T.
Swallow your pride, no dough Canada -
We gouge society - Jean keep our land taxing and cash free
We're Canadians, we love to pay bank fees…
Our government keeps us down on our knees!"

Yes Canadians! Fairy tales can come true! All you need to
Do is buy specialty coins from your local post office!
Imagine the exciting life you will lead by buying a fifty-cent
Piece for the low, low price of $49.52! Or, Why not pick up
Two dollars and fifty cents worth of designer quarters for the
Whopping, ridiculously low price of only $39.95? We even
Have a new an improved dime featuring the entire cast of
Theodore tugboat! Yes all five adorable boats - replacing
The battered Bluenose - for a steal at $29.99 - they even
Come in a genuine burlap sail-carrying bag at no extra charge!
Or for the truly patriotic son or daughter why not the stylish
'Eager Beaver' nickel collection depicting that industrious
Flat tailed animal sporting the various hairstyles of each of
Our past Prime Ministers - that's over 20 coins for only three
Payments of $18.67. Or for the budget conscious Canuck, why
Not the "Pretty Penny" series whereby the Queen's portrait has
Been replace by etchings of either Margaret Atwood, Pierre
Burton, David Suzuki, or your choice of any character from the
Beachcombers, Mr. Dress -up and friends; or even Alex Trebec!

It's easy to see how our government makes cents! They rip us off!
Sure the coins might grow in value - and probably will exceed one's
RRSP in long term value - ah the great grail hunt for the cup of
Canadian Identity…tea? Red Rose!
Only in Canada, eh? Pity.

© 2007 Tim Cusack